


telephone

by 55anon (Anon)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, Episode: s12e18 The Memory Remains, Episode: s12e19 The Future, M/M, Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-01 23:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13305267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon/pseuds/55anon
Summary: "you know what they say. once you kill a cow, ya gotta make a burger.""you know gaga, trust is like a mirror.  you can fix it if it's broke,""but you can still see the crack in that motherfuckin reflection"





	telephone

**Author's Note:**

> story has nothing to do with the lady gaga song. I just can't get it out of my head is all.

 

Cas isn’t answering his phone and she’s hot.  She smiles like all her ghosts exist in campfire stories and looks like a good time.  Sam says Black Bill head of goat blah hybrids.

 _Hybrid_ he hears, and behind it _nephilim_ \- aint that a funny coincidence.

But Dean’s got the Colt and condoms, hunting a goat fucker.  Cas isn’t replying to his texts and she glows for the dumbest line about a cup of hot coffee.  Doesn’t even roll her eyes.  Passes the litmus test when she smiles and cleans spilled salt from a toppled shaker.  And she’s hot.  He’ll take his luck where he can get it.

Sam rolls his eyes- whatever.  Dean checks his phone- nothing.  He turns up the ringer volume, carefully puts his cell on her nightstand and uses all his condoms.

It’s fun.  Clears his head.  Come morning he drives her back to the diner, hand lingering on her waist and breathing in that soft shampoo.  He’ll see her later, he says.  He’ll call, he says.

His phone’s charged and doesn’t vibrate.  That’s okay.  No news is good news.

He’ll call, he says.

A veggie omelet with egg whites- _really_ Sam?

 

\--

 

Dean remembers pay phones.  He fed them quarters on strings to talk five minutes.  Dad called them five o’clock debriefs.  They were always the same.

How’s Sammy.  Did you take him to school.  Seen anything strange.  Heard anything weird.  Noticed anyone suspicious.  Clean your gun.  Do you have enough ammo.  Where’s your silver knife.  Bag of salt.  How’re you for money.  Use the credit card.  I’ll get back in four days.  Pack and ready to go.  Leave town Monday morning.  Don’t hear from me by Tuesday, call Bobby.  What’s his number.  What’s his other number.  What’s emergency protocol.  Good.  No cops, no hospitals, no civilians.  Lie low. Go to school.  Take care of Sammy.  Got anything else to report.  Good.  Don’t let me down.

Dean got Sam a cellphone when Sam started high school and it immediately resulted in a blowout fight.  Dad found the phone in Sam’s backpack, buzzing in a pencil case.  He destroyed it, said he thought it was a hex bag.  He also found forms to apply for emancipation.

Sam screamed at Dad about going through his stuff, about Dad’s paranoia, about demons and hunting and friends and school and college and wanting to be normal.  Dean stood there, numb.  He’d had a brutal day at the construction site but was in a happy mood for payday.  He’d been planning on taking Sam to Blockbuster to rent a movie and order pizza.

The next day Dean started asking around about a second job.  When he landed a bartending gig, he bought Sammy a new phone with a two year plan as some kind of promise.  Sam went through a phase where he blew through their 100 texts per month plan and Dean yelled at him _I can’t use blood to pay your fuckin cellphone fees_.

Now he has no two year contract, no long distance charges, fucking unlimited talk and text, 20GB of data on a family plan with three smartphones and Cas has _no_ excuse.

No bars, Cas says.

No fuckin bars.

Dean is going to buy Cas a satellite phone hooked to NSA surveillance networks.  He is going to chain Cas to a cell phone tower.  He is going to stuff Cas’ trench coat pockets with quarters.

If he had known-- if he had _known_ that this would happen, he would’ve found another way.  He would’ve shoved Cas into the kitchen and told him to make himself useful and stir the chili.  Would’ve thrown wool socks when Cas complained about the cold bunker floors.

But instead.  Instead he has this.  Cas coming back to him, always coming back to him, but Dean _cannot_ make him stay.

 

\--

 

Dean only calls when he needs something.

Dean only leaves increasingly angry voicemails telling him to pick up.

When he returns his calls, Dean is always furious and yelling why didn’t he answer after Dean called five times and left four messages and sent eighteen texts, all of them variations on “Cas answer your goddamn phone.”

Dean never calls to talk.  He calls to tell Castiel about a lead, to meet them there, to blame Castiel for the sins of his brothers and sisters, to tell Castiel he fucked up again.

And Dean is always, always so _angry_ when Castiel comes back.  He doesn’t know what to do.  He doesn’t know how to stop it, doesn’t think it’s something within his power to fix.

It hurts to always come back to anger.

Ishim had said _look how far he's fallen.  No wings, no home._

More pieces break away with each failure he carries through the bunker's doors.  The silence presses into shame.

Sometimes Castiel wants to throw the phone in the South Seas.  But the sea turtles dive there.

And - Dean _gave_ this to him.  Dean put a picture of a moose next to Sam’s number.  Dean laughed when Castiel tried to take a selfie.  He has so little of Dean now, when he once held his soul.

He keeps the phone and doesn’t answer.  It’s pathetic, but when his phone chirps that he has three missed calls from Dean, he can imagine Dean called to ask, how are you.  Dean’s texts are like the ones Claire gets from her friends.  Things like

-what do you want for dinner

-don’t say burgers

-we had burgers yesterday

-yeah? I’m watching real housewives of dallas

-what time you getting home

-the chick’s got a really weird pet squirrel. who the fuck keeps a pet squirrel???

-chick = girl

-the pet squirrel is NOT a monster

-it has a blue tail

-[pic]

-cas it’s a gif

-wtf is that

-lol dude not funny

-mine’s funnier

-it’s a batcat

-BATCAT

-cat dressed as batman

-nvm

-get your ass home youre gonna miss jeopardy

-I made peanut butter cookies

But Castiel opens the bunker door, braces himself and goes down the stairs.  Sam is smiling and Castiel's heart lifts.  Dean is accusing and mad and looking at him with hardened, disappointed eyes.  Castiel stands as far from Dean as he can.

Sam is glad he's back.  Dean is not glad he's back.  Dean tells him he's messed up again striking out, busy doing nothing.  Dean tells him something is wrong with him.

Castiel admits it.  Yes, he’s been ignoring Dean’s calls.  It’s what Dean wants to hear.  Trying to explain is pointless.

Dean says they're better together.  Dean always tells Castiel he is family.  But Dean will also find a way to yell at Castiel, or speak with cutting sarcasm, or avoid him in hostile silence, no matter what Castiel does.  He knows Dean will tell him at the end of the day that what Castiel did was stupid, reckless, dumb, useless.

Almost a decade and they're back to when they first met.  Dean, furious with Castiel's choices.  And Castiel, only there to complete a mission anyway.

 

\--

 

Cas, he hears himself say.  c _osmic consequences_ , Billie had said.

you  _can't_ ,

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
